"They said that you have to live your own life and make your own choices. You have to finally think positive. And they said that then you gonna be alright. They also said that you must think you're special, important and strong. That's what they said to me. But I can't feel that, I can't believe. I don't think it works. It can't be worth it. Life. You know? And I'm not special. I'm not nothing new or important. Everything is just so meaningless. Like you are too. Meaningless.
(If I'm honest). You're not special. You're just one person of 7 billion else.
You'll be always alone, all alone in your own mind. But you're not only one, not alone on this planet. On this space we live in. You're not anything special, you're just one piece of something bigger. (and bitter)
You are just tiny little piece of this meaningles world. This world we hate and love. This world which you can't change alone. "
"You really think like that? You believe that no-one's gonna ever touch you inside or what? Cause I don't get it. What you mean when you say 'always all alone'. I don't get it. Don't you believe that love exist? I'm so sorry for you."
"I don't know. I just mean that.... I can't read your mind, I can't see what you're thinking or really understand what you're meaning. I just can't never really understand. I can always try, and sometimes I am maybe closer than anyone. But I can't feel things exactly like you. Just can't. And then you see, you're alone.
But you know, everyone is, alone I mean, if you think that way.
I don't know how to say this. But you see, you can only understand your own thoughts, and sometimes, not even them. They are purple haze and you don't know what to do. And if you can't understand what you feel and what's inside your head, then probably neither do I. It's just a waste of time.
And I'm sorry for you. I don't know if love exist, but one thing is true. I'm so very alone."
She decided not to say anything.
The silence between us was something I can't describe.
That forced smile in her face she lit her last cigarette,
and then she walked away.
I can swear that she really looked sad.